Sex Love Chevron. Relationships Chevron. Neither of these emotions makes you a bad person, for the record. But she poses the following question: What are we going to do with that [feeling]? Your answer can take envy and jealousy from perfectly natural emotions to something that can complicate your friendships. What you should do, however, is tell yourself the truth. Instead, check in with yourself and keep it real.
Franco , Ph. Your feelings are a form of information, Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite , Ph. You tell your friends that you got that promotion, and somehow, they manage to turn it into a bad thing.
Behind every jealous person are some of their own insecurities , McBain says. Are your friends the insecure type? Those who are comfortable with themselves and have a strong sense of self-esteem tend to be less jealous of those around them.
On the other hand, if you notice your friends are not secure in who they are, you might find them more likely to rear the inner green-eyed monster. A jealous friend will constantly criticize your actions or choices , Catchings says. Are your friends obsessed with getting invited to elite events? Need to get their hands on the latest designer trends?
Then, when you get something above and beyond what they have, they seem to struggle? Status and success are huge players in jealousy. Accomplished something huge? Life is full of trials, of course, and healthy relationships can offer invaluable support.
But in a society where we often feel pressure to maintain the flow of our peers, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparison and insecurity—particularly with the ones closest to us: our friends. So what do you do when you have a jealous friend who either ghosts you when things are going especially well, or scoffs at your happiness and success? And how do you identify a toxic friendship that's begun to reek of resentment?
We turned to the experts to help you navigate the situation so it doesn't result in a platonic breakup. It often begins with what is not said. For example, you may be spilling over with excitement about your new car, but your friend barely gives it a glance.
You offer them a tour of your freshly renovated home, but they casually shrug when you rave about the bathtub. You announce your big promotion—the one you have been vying for since last year—and they offer up an underwhelming "congratulations" that renders you feeling deflated. As it progresses, you may notice backhanded compliments and passive-aggressive jabs that haunt you for weeks—often delivered in such a subtle way that you wrestle with how to confront them.
Perhaps your friend snickers at your good news, saying you got lucky in your connections. These are all classic indicators, and there is almost always a caveat. Another sign is that each time you mention some facet of your success, they insist upon unpacking all of the exceptional ways they are thriving. If someone claims to have never experienced jealousy, they are being dishonest—with you or with themselves. So, when identified, don't be too quick to write the person out of your life.
In fact, if handled effectively, jealousy can be illuminating and serve to drive a person. Gabrielle Bernstein , spiritual thought leader and author of Super Attractor , teaches her students that the source of envy is a facet of a person that's yet to be developed.
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